Due to circumstances beyond my control (and possibly poor blood flow), my erectile dysfunction has officially entered the chat.
Doctors say it’s “performance anxiety,” but I prefer to call it “limited-time availability.”
My body really said “404: Rigidity Not Found.”
Tried turning it off and on again.
Still buffering.
At this point my confidence loads faster than the actual hardware.
Even my Wi-Fi has stronger connections.
If anyone finds my missing firmness, please return it immediately.
No questions asked. Reward offered.
Until then, I remain emotionally ready, spiritually prepared, but physically… under maintenance.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.